One of you

[AI translation] According to the ancient church year, we are now in the time of the so-called Lent, when, according to the old custom, on Sundays the sermon deals with the story of the Passion of Christ our Lord, its individual stages. I too would like us, with the help of God's Holy Spirit, to accompany our Lord on the journey of the Passion during the three Sundays remaining until Good Friday. For it is from His passion and death that life flows for us. It is by His wounds, spiritual and physical, that we are all healed. His Passion is the miracle of the world that flows into our lives and our suffering as a healing, uplifting, consoling, redeeming power. Let us now turn our souls to the precious person of the suffering Saviour, so that in the light and grace that radiate from Him we may know Him and ourselves better.One of the most painful parts of the Passion story is what I read. Sitting together are Jesus and his disciples, the Master and his most faithful, most trusting followers. In a large house for dinner, obviously in some kind of inn, at a table set, half sitting, half lying on chairs, they are preparing to celebrate the most beautiful feast, to eat the Passover together, according to the ancient rituals. In the midst of this touching and solemn communion, as they sit down to eat, Jesus suddenly says: "Truly I say to you, one of you who eats with me will betray me!" It must have been a shocking announcement there in the great, reverent silence! What a dreadful thought: the Lord Jesus betraying one of the apostles, one of the twelve, one of those who walked with Him daily, who feast with Him now, eat with Him from the same bowl, one of those whom He chose! One of these betrays the Master?! This is astounding! Is it possible? - Yes! The Gentile soldiers, to whom Jesus was a complete stranger, were carrying out an order when they nailed the Lord to the cross. Pontius Pilate, who didn't even know where Jesus came from, against his better judgement, and in fear of the crowd, delivered Him up. But it was the Lord's own people who demanded His death. And the man who betrayed Him, knowing that he was betraying innocent blood - was a disciple, one of the twelve, from the innermost circle! Our Saviour's suffering and death was the result of Satan's work, it is true - but yet one of his own narrowest circle of congregation gave himself to Satan as a means to stab Jesus!
"One of you will betray me!" This is a fearful accusation, which falls like a fiery ember on Jesus' circle of disciples, not only on the circle of disciples then, but on the circle of disciples now, and here! Do not condemn Judas of 2,000 years ago: it is an eternal indictment of the church, an eternal warning of Jesus to all the churches! And if anyone knows anything of the history of the Church of Christ, now almost 2000 years old, he will know that it has very often given rise to this terrible accusation! Behold: after the ascension of Jesus Christ, He wants to continue to live and work on earth in His Church, in the community and life of His followers. It is in the community and life of His followers that He wants to be known and seen by those who do not yet know Him. The Church must not only proclaim Christ, but also make Christ visible, live Christ into the world, into human society, into all the joys and sorrows of life on earth. Yet, for 20 centuries, His followers have very often not represented Jesus in a way that has made Him attractive, beautiful, alive, true to the world. The followers of Jesus very often betrayed, killed and buried Christ among themselves by their own un-Christian lives in such a way that the world today no longer sees Him, the living person of the Saviour, embodied in the church, but only a bunch of clumsy, outdated thinking people who profess beautiful principles with their mouths, but contradict them with their lives! The increasing turning away from God that is taking place all over the world, the fact that Christ and his Church have so little honour in the eyes of the world, is the result of the incessant internal betrayal of believers. And do not think it is an exaggeration when I call it treason, for what is treason? What is the attitude of Judaism? It is when one, by his unfaithfulness, by his only external allegiance to Christ, gives occasion to mock Jesus, to mock God, to deceive, to disbelieve in him. I have spoken to many atheists who, almost without exception, have become God-deniers because they have been offended by the non-Christian behaviour of the church or of a representative of the church; because they have been made to hate Christ by Christ's disciples! Not as knowingly as Judas, but still by treachery, because professed but not truly lived Christianity is the best tool Satan has against Christ!
"One of you will betray me!" says Jesus. The apostles looked at each other! They were shocked! And we read, "they began to mourn". Matthew says it plainly, "They were exceedingly sorrowful!" How could they not be grieved, for he who has ears to hear, hears that in this terrible accusation still resounds the tender love of a deeply grieved divine heart! Jesus used to call His sheep by name: "Martha, Martha!"-"Saul, Saul," He cried to the Pharisee, who was bursting in blind rage on the Damascus road. But here He mentions no one's name, only this: "one of you!" Let each man read the name of this disciple from the book of his own conscience, from the depths of his own soul, his own heart. "One of you betrays me" - do you feel that in this the sorrow of God's heart complains?! There is no other way to hear it but "exceedingly sorrowful," like the disciples there in the supper-house! For there is no greater sorrow than when the assembly of the saints is profaned by the deceitfulness of the heart, when there are among the wedding-clothes those who have no wedding garments! If any of the elect go to judgment.
So it is well if, at the painful accusation of Christ, all His followers are grieved! In the case of some sad, flagrant sin, which brings shame on the name of Christ, it is always better that the disciples of Jesus should all humble themselves for it, all be exceedingly sorrowful in the sorrow of repentance, than to point at one another, accuse one another, and with their proud judgment smite the sinner who is being punished! - Behold, there the disciples did not say, "Lord, is it Judas?" but "one by one they began to say, "Is it not I?" and the other, "Is it not I?" They do not look with suspicion at the other, but each one feels the terrible accusation directed inwards, against himself. Yes: this "one of you..." is such a general definition that anyone can apply it to himself. Almost every one of them comes before the judgment seat of Christ and asks, "Is it not I? Is it me?" - The apostle to whom Jesus promised to build His mother church on his profession of faith, even he is terrified and asks: "Is it not I, Lord? Even the disciple who used to rest on the bosom of Jesus, the gentle John, also cries out, "Is it not I, Lord? Look: if such strong pillars of the church do not trust their own hearts, how much more must this "one of you" grieve us and make us introspect! If their great hearts are so saddened at the thought of an unconscious yet possible betrayal, how much more should our little hearts be saddened, so fickle, so deceitful, so unfaithful; so unknown, so fearful depths! It is well to put ourselves, and not each other, before the judgment-seat of the Examiner of hearts, and ask Him who knows us better than we know ourselves, "Lord, is it not I?"
Oh, never say to Him, "It is not I, Lord!" Do not vow, as Peter did, "Though all deny me, I am ready to go with you even to death!" You never know when your heart will fail you! Let him who stands see that he does not fall!" warns elsewhere in the Word. If anywhere, then here it really applies: do not judge, do not judge others! This affliction which the disciples felt is more pleasing to God than the boastful self-confidence which trusts in its own strength and faithfulness, which feels itself above the suspicion of betrayal. Vain self-conceit is that which relies on the solidity of its own faith, instead of relying on the faithfulness of Christ alone!
It is no coincidence that Jesus said this just moments before the very first communion was distributed: "One of you will betray me!" We would do well to thirst here at this table and ask, "Is it not I, Lord?" When the Word of God tells us that love is wavering in many and many are falling away from the faith, like Demas, let us ask in great silence and humility, "Is that what you think I am, Lord?" And when the Word testifies that there are some who have once entered into the light of the gospel, tasted the gifts of heaven, partaken of the Holy Spirit, tasted the good words of God and the powers of the world to come, and yet have fallen: then, at the words, "One of you shall betray me," let every man turn within himself and ask his own heart before the Lord, "Is it not I?" Do you not feel yourself caught in the act, exposed by the word of Jesus, as Judas was? Yes: what did Judas feel? Perhaps two things. One is that Jesus knows everything. He can see into your soul as well as Judas'. Behold: the betrayer, however well he may conceal it, cannot take a single step without feeling the gaze of Jesus. He must know that he does what he does with the knowledge of Jesus. Oh, that look, that sad eye, may yet restrain, may yet save! Nor is this a word of threat, but a warning of infinite love, with which it calls us back, with which it shakes the conscience, with which it seeks to induce us to repentance! As if to say: It is not too late!
And look, it is a testimony to this that he has still taken communion with his own! He knew that one of them would betray Him. It would have been humanly understandable if he had scattered them and said, "I will no longer sit at the same table with such a vile company! But he didn't do that, he took communion! So he took his own, knowing that not only the instrument of his grace, but also the instrument of Satan, might be there among them! He thus celebrated with them the symbol of the deepest spiritual communion, His holy supper. Yes: for it was into our sin and condemnation that He descended from heaven. He truly came among sinners! What else could He have found among us and in us but our sins, our hostile feelings! What does He receive from us in fellowship with us but always our sins, our unfaithfulness! And yet He undertook and undertakes communion with us, yet He eats with us, dips with us in the dish, eats His supper with us, even if that supper means treason to Him! Because this is how He keeps, this is how He redeems those who are thirsty in their hearts! Oh, what a depth of the riches of His grace!
How much meanness in us, how much tender, forgiving, redeeming love in Him! Judas was driven to damnation by this unheard-of love. You, we - are you drawn to him?! Would that He would truly draw us with irresistible power to repentance, to conversion, to salvation!
Come then, let us pray together:
Behold, I stand before you,
Behold, I stand before you,
I knock at your door,
Though with secret sins
And those that are obvious
I have sinned against thee:
I beseech thee in all things,
With great mercy
Take back your child.
(Canto 215, verse 3)
Amen
Date: 31 March 1957.