Peter's denial

[AI translation] Dear Brothers and Sisters! According to the ancient ecclesiastical year, the time of the so-called "Lent" has come. This six-week period before Easter is not about fasting in any way, but about immersing oneself in the Passion of Jesus. That is, in the redemptive suffering of Jesus, which was the very purpose of His mission. So that believers would not only be engaged with Him on one day, Good Friday, but would accompany Jesus, as it were, on the journey that would ultimately lead to Calvary. That is why I chose this Lenten story.You may know that it is one of the saddest stories in the Bible, one of the most painful thorns in the flesh of the series of sufferings that Jesus had to go through. We are not talking here about an enemy of Jesus - that would be very understandable - but perhaps about his dearest disciple, a man who really loved him very seriously, who wanted to be his heart and soul, who dedicated his whole life to his service. So he is a truly serious believer, which is what we want to be. Well, it could happen - it can happen today - that even such a person denied the One he loves, the One he believes in. A man who has seen Jesus walk on the sea and calm the storm, who has listened to the Sermon on the Mount, to many other teachings of his Lord, who was there when Jesus called Lazarus, who was with Him on the mount of transfiguration, who was dead, from the tomb - just such a man says, "I don't know Him, I have nothing to do with Him..."
This terribly sad Scripture is a very great warning, on the one hand, that there is forgiveness even for such a fallen soul. This warning and this consolation I would like to share today. You can see in some of the details of the story how a believer can fall into such a dangerous temptation. He describes how, almost unnoticed, one might almost say in good faith, he was led by the tempter into the court of the high priest for this very embarrassing denial. Yet, even though Jesus had said that he would be subjected to temptations that he would not be able to resist, he had foretold, "Before the cock crows, you will deny me three times" - like Peter in general today, Peter did not really take Jesus' words seriously. All our problems always come from not taking Jesus' word very seriously. Because if he had really taken him seriously, he would not have exposed himself to the dangerous temptation that was dangerous to his faith. He would have spent the night in a safe place, locked away in some corner, in prayer. But if one threw the tiny flame of one's faith into the tempest, what would happen there? Smoke and be extinguished. That's what happened to Peter.
I've often noticed: One of the great dangers of believers is that they take temptations so lightly! They think they know - like the unwary climber on the edge of a precipice - how far they can go, where the limit is, where they must stop. But they don't know! They have no idea! Better not to go to the edge of the precipice! How many times do we pray "Do not lead us into temptation"! We can tempt Satan with such unheard-of recklessness anyway! However we interpret it, Satanic power is always lurking. Jesus says, "Like a roaring lion, he prowls about, seeking his prey to devour" (cf. 1 Peter 5:8). His greatest joy is when he can bring down a Christ-follower. We all have a weakness in our lives: perhaps money, or lust, or vanity, or fantasy, or a martyr complex, or a sense of inferiority, or drink, or perhaps even overconfidence, as Peter had. So there is a gap in each of our lives where temptation enters unhindered, where our bodies, our souls, are most vulnerable. And that ancient enemy, the tempter, knows this Achilles' heel of our lives far better than we do. Well, if you know you have a weakness in your life where you cannot resist temptation, don't expose yourself to it! Don't play with it, don't approach it, don't approach the fire. Here Peter went to get warm. As good as it feels, it's not for you, Peter. It's a failure for you, it'll burn your whole life away!
Oh, but we ought to ask more earnestly that he would keep us under the guidance of God's Spirit, not let us go beyond our own possibilities, our own abilities, our own measure. Let us never forget how weak we humans are, especially in faith. "He who stands, let him see that he does not fall" (1 Cor 10,12). There is only one unforeseen circumstance between them. Behold, the greatest strength and the most abject weakness are so close together, so adjacent. The boldest profession of faith may, by a word uttered, perhaps without malice, become a threefold denial, and it is not necessary that anything so shocking should happen to make one fall. It is enough to let go of God's hand for a moment - it does not take peril or persecution to turn our allegiance to Christ into smoke and vapour at the same time. All it takes is a harsh word to offend, to upset, a glare to inflame passions, all it takes is an unpleasant news or event to hurt, some small renunciation, some abstinence to cost loyalty, and loyalty is gone, we deny we have anything to do with Jesus.
We deny it - not in the stark, dramatic way that Peter did in the court of the high priest, but in a much more subtle way that we do. You don't deny Him by saying openly, when it comes to Him, "I don't know Him, I have nothing to do with Him". Although, who knows - that's not certain either. If we were in a similar perilous, critical situation as Peter was, I don't know which of us would say that this mocked, out-of-fashion, despised by many, Jesus is my Lord and my God. Because it is much easier to lie low in such a situation than to declare it. But that is not what we are talking about here. It's more like denying Jesus when it's not about Him, but about politics, or someone in company who is not present, or an insult that offends or hurts, or something else - our whole attitude, our very being, is a denial, all a testimony that "I don't know Him, I have nothing to do with Him...", like Peter. Now think of a nasty failure of yours, when you acted towards someone as if you really had never heard of Jesus. You may not have noticed it yourself, but others may have looked at you with astonishment, thinking to themselves that this person was talking just like that, acting just like that, doubting, scolding others, indifferently walking past the troubles of others, as if he had never heard of what Jesus lived and died for and taught. Yet this man is a church-going, Bible-reading, prayerful man.
Oh, we do not deny Jesus as flatly as Peter did, but much worse. Not with our words: with our whole being, our whole attitude towards people, towards enemies! You know, we always deny Jesus when our life does not proclaim Him unmistakably, even if it is not Jesus, that He is alive. We always deny Him when some manifestation of our being does not unmistakably show that we belong to Him. When we do not feel that certain extra that only Jesus can give. And oh, how I miss that extra! Peter denied Christ only three times, and you and I outdo Him in this misery many times a day!
Observe how movingly it goes on. Peter is still in the midst of proving that he has nothing to do with this man who is accused. And so it continues, "And immediately, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed!" Yes, the rooster, the emblem of the Hungarian Reformed church steeples, the natural wake-up call of the sleeping world, the harbinger of the light that banishes darkness - that is, the sign of grace. As if God's grace were warning us: 'Peter, beware! Wake up, see where you are! Such an awakening cock-crowing in our lives is always illness, trouble, trials - every situation that is distressing; every single church proclamation. But do we notice the many ways God is calling us to notice for once what a downward slope we have come to?! Through the great crowing of the world's roosters, it is as if he is warning us: 'Man, beware! He who has started down the slope of Christ-denial is sinking deeper and deeper! At last he will find himself in such a bottomless abyss that he himself will shudder!" We should not complain about the troubles, but rather hear this word of warning from God's grace!
And especially notice that Someone is looking at you from an unseen world. So the Scripture says: "The Lord looked back at Peter." Surely it was no accident that he turned back at that very moment. He deliberately sought the disciple with his eyes. Oh, if I could only tell you what it must have been like in that regard! Sadness: "How could you do such a thing, Peter?!" Or accusation? "Oh, you miserable, wretched disciple!" Or love? "Even if you do not want to know me, I know you. Even if you deny me before men, I will confess you before my Father in heaven." Sadness, accusation, or love? I think all three. Maybe I can see something of this because as a child I often met my father's gaze like this when I did something wrong. I was waiting for punishment. And when he punished me, I felt like I'd gotten even. But if he didn't punish me, but looked at me with a look that pierced me to the depths of my soul, a look that radiated sadness, accusation and immense love, then I couldn't bear it, I could only break down and cry bitterly because I had hurt the one who loved me so much! If Jesus were looking at you now, or if Jesus were looking at you at the moment when you were bursting out in a bad temper, what would you read in his eyes? Perhaps that look would say to you, without a sound, "O man, for whom I have given my life, for whom I have so often fed, nourished, watered with my broken body and my shed blood, whose prayers I have taken so deadly seriously, whose prayers I have listened to - is that the only way you love me? Is that all I am to you? Can you forget me so easily? I will not give you up! I still love you, even after all this!"
In any case, Peter was struck by this look, like the sun on the spring snow, the March snow it melts, or the sunshine on the April bud it sweetly unfurls. Everything came to Peter at once. "And he went out and wept bitterly." It is a distressing thing when a man weeps, when a man who has struggled in storm, in sunshine, in seas with winds, who has been hardened by them, a hard man weeps bitterly! But I understand. For the terrible feeling of shame, of annihilation, the storm of shame, which Jesus' devastating and yet uplifting gaze aroused in him, cannot be expressed in words anyway, but only in bitter weeping. It is the sadness of not being afraid of the consequences of one's sins, of "alas, people will know how wretched I am!", but of being hurt by sin itself, because I feel that Jesus is hurt. When I am sad because I have grieved Him and increased His suffering. This is the sorrow from which new life, resurrection, repentance will arise. This is the tearful sorrow for which forgiveness is ready.
And finally one more thing: God is so gracious that he can turn even such wickedness into good. Perhaps such an ugly fall is also good for the believer, so that the memory of it may always keep him in humility afterwards, so that he may never again be discouraged and become understanding of other men's weaknesses. According to an old legend, these tears never quite dried up in the Apostle Peter's eyes, and even afterwards his eyes were always a little veiled with tears. He could not forget the pain he had caused his Master. But it is very good to realize that it is not a question of whether Jesus can trust me, but whether I can trust Jesus. Because being a Christian does not mean never to sin again, never to fail, never to sin... But I know that all this does not stop me from loving God! His hand reaches for me, and his eyes follow me to where I weep.
Brothers and sisters! The other day I ended my sermon with: Look to Jesus."
Now let me end again by saying that, indeed, even if you forget everything that has been said here, please don't forget this one thing: always feel the gaze of Jesus on you! Think of Him in everything you do or don't do: Someone is looking, seeing - their eyes are on you. This wonderful gaze, filled with precious heavenly energy, is there to haunt you, to hold on to. Feel the gaze of Jesus on you! Let us all confess this now as we sing it:
Gentle eyes, Lord Jesus,
He sees all my sins well,
Thou shalt not condemn my person
Thy gentle eye, Lord Jesus.
Gentle eyes, Lord Jesus,
Look upon me when I fall,
Give me peace and forgiveness
Your gentle eyes, Lord Jesus.
Gentle eyes, Lord Jesus,
I know he'll accuse me;
I have sinned, judge me
Your gentle eyes, Lord Jesus.
Gentle eyes, Lord Jesus,
Thou art with me, see, I am again
I'm just waiting for you to look at me
Your gentle eyes, Lord Jesus.
(Cant. 465, verses 1-4)
Amen
Date: 10 March 1968.