Man and woman

[AI translation] I would like to discuss this wonderfully beautiful and masterfully written story from a very unusual point of view, namely, that here, if we look at the outward appearance of events: a man and a woman meet and talk to each other. So let us try to see this story simply as a social event, as something that is repeated thousands of times a day in the world, in the street, in the office, in the swimming pool, in the public swimming pool, in the school, everywhere: a man and a woman meet, they start talking - how does this conversation develop and where does it lead...In the blazing sun, on a dusty road, a woman comes along, balancing a water jug on her head. She is the only one on the road now. At this time of day, at noon, everyone is cooling off somewhere in the shade. But she goes to the spring precisely because she doesn't have to meet anyone. He goes to the well for water. It's not in the evening or morning because there are always a lot of people there. And people talk so much, they call each other names. No, he doesn't want to hear that - to hear people gossiping about him, making comments... He'd rather go for water in the hot sun, at midday! He comes to the well. She starts to lower her bucket when she notices that there's a man sitting in the shade - and he's not alone. He leans against the tree with his eyes closed. He must be tired. Maybe he's asleep. The woman looks at him stealthily. He's not from here. A Jewish man. Too bad he's asleep. It would be nice to talk to him. Maybe he rattles his bucket a little, maybe even more than necessary, to draw attention to himself. To wake that man up and look at him...
Perhaps that's how the incident John reports in this episode began. This is how I imagine it. So Jesus, tired from his journey, sat down at the spring. A woman from Samaria came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, 'Give me a drink'." A perennial problem, a constant theme: the meeting of man and woman. It always has been, even in the ancient world when women had no social status - and today, when women are equal to men. When man and woman meet, it is as if there is always a spark between them. Maybe barely perceptible, maybe quite unconscious, but something always happens... Every man has a different attitude towards a man than towards a woman, and every woman has a different attitude towards a man, a different attitude towards a woman than towards a man. And a woman, however emancipated she may be, however modern she may be, is always a woman, and a man is always a man! Two parties made for each other... Remember, this is the eternal Creation Word: "I will make him a helper, a helper for him." Yes: man and woman fit together as two halves, whole together, complementing each other, made complete by each other. God says of the woman, "Helper. What a great task and what a great position: to be a helper! Helpmate. There is in this the idea that she is indispensable, irreplaceable. Every woman in life is asked the great question: what will you do with this help? How much are you really a helper? Because this also implies that the woman is not the one around whom everything revolves, but the one who occupies the second place, the quiet place from which she can be a tremendous blessing for all men, for the whole of society. Yes, but it depends not only on the woman, but also on the man. It depends, you know, on how the man relates to the woman, how he sees her, does he really see her as a helpmate or someone he can use? These are the problems that arise every time a man and a woman meet.
Well then: that woman at the well saw a lonely man sitting quietly... And she doesn't know it's Jesus. Why could it be here in this heat? Is she waiting for him? Oh, she knows men so well! He knows life... She knows how a man looks at a woman, what he wants from her: to dominate her, to use her to satisfy his own desires, to see her as a tool, not a helpmate... He knows very well that everything in a man's life revolves around the woman - apart from his own glory and his work, of course - but it does revolve around the woman!
And he also knows how women react. Perhaps he despised himself and the whole female sex for it - perhaps he came in the noonday light and not in the morning like the others, so as not to meet anyone... Well, she wants to rule over men: we'll see who's stronger. With beauty, with charm, with every means at her disposal... In fact, it is men who force her into this behaviour, which is alien to her being, when it would be so nice to be a woman, to be a help, not a tool - not a toy, not a shiny, glittering jewel - but to help someone, to belong to someone, to lean on someone and to grow tall like the amber on the temple wall, protecting and covering what she surrounds and covers... But she only ever met a man who took advantage of her and then threw her away. Who always wanted something from her. Well, he always gave it to her, and yet her soul remained so terribly thirsty, thirstier and thirstier! His whole life became like this barren, thirsty land in the dry, barren land of the southern sun.
And behold, now again a man at the well. And he doesn't know it's Jesus. Well, let that man not sleep now! Why doesn't he look at her? He rattles the bucket. At last! He opens his eyes. Look at him! He says... "Woman, give me a drink too". Now listen carefully: the woman doesn't say yes or no, or wait, I'm about to drink, but she starts to speak in a way that suggests a flute situation, that already has a challenge, a kind of opening of the door to a game of hide-and-seek - the attitude of "if you want something with me, come closer" - a little pretence, because she doesn't know it's Jesus! He says: "How? You who are a Jew, you ask me, the Samaritan, for a drink?" But the Jews and the Samaritans never spoke to each other! There is in this answer all the flirtatiousness of the woman, all the incitement to an uncommon answer, almost a challenge, "What do you say to me?
And the man, who is Jesus - but the woman does not know this - answers in a very different way from what she expects: 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that says this to you: Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked him, and he would have given thee living water." An astonishing answer. The woman had not expected it! Perhaps she expected something like this from her previous experience. Yes, it's something like this compliment, a polite trifle, an approaching gesture that men make to women who are willing to be themselves. She's a little embarrassed - this man is different from any she's ever met. Could he conquer this one as well as the others? His voice sounds almost mischievous as he says: no-no! "How would you get water, you don't even have a bucket! And the well is deep! Are you not greater than our father Jacob, who gave us this well?" Another challenge! A mischievous attack! As if such thoughts were hidden in these words: Now let us see, who is greater, you or me? Who will win over the other?
And again, the man's answer is different from what women expect in such cases: Look, woman: everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again. But the water I give you is quite different! Whoever drinks of it will never thirst again. He becomes a different man! It is wonderful when Jesus looks at someone and says: "You man, who with such an unquenchable thirst are thirsting for the pleasures of life, do you know that you yourself can become a spring, a spring of refreshing water in this world? Someone who does not always want to receive, to take something from others, but who can give, who can give eternal gifts to others.
The woman listens in silence. She has never met such a man. This man is even bigger, stronger, more powerful than she thought. This man sees something in her that men have never seen before. Somehow, he looks at her differently than the others... But he is only shocked for a moment, because then the woman speaks to him again: "Give me that water, so I don't have to come here in the heat." But the man replies again, "All right, I will give you some, but first go and fetch your husband." That was a bull's eye! The woman was frightened. What could this strange man want with her?! You can't fool around with him like you do with others. And now, in a very different voice, not with the defiant flirtatiousness of before, perhaps with a glance, she says: "I have no husband!" And now she is no longer the woman she ought to be, but a tiny, tiny little man, a miserable, miserable, miserable man, a man with a soul that is deadly tired. "Indeed," he says, and she still does not know it is Jesus, "we have come to the point. "You've had five husbands, and the one you're living with now is not your husband." I know your life better than you do! I know how much you long for the fullness of life, for happiness, for true joy, and however much you may know how to flirt, and how to make yourself wanted, and how to conquer, and how to dazzle, and how to wrap men around your finger, you are still a lonely soul, tired to death.
The woman is quite dumbfounded. She is no longer in such a playful mood. She looks at the man in front of her for a long moment: who is this who looks at me with a gaze that penetrates to the depths of my soul and yet is not offensive. Who knows me like this and yet does not despise me, who knows who I am and sees in me what I could be: a different person, happy, pure, a blessing to others, fruitful, rich... For once, he sees his own life so clearly: what a waste, what a heap of rubbish, what a waste, what a waste, what a cry for true love! And all that he has had up to now has been a substitute for what he wanted - an imitation of love - all selfishness! On his part and on the part of his partners! Each of them was always looking for the satisfaction of his own desires in the other. Oh, if only there were someone who really loved her, to whom she could belong with all her heart and soul, to whom she could remain faithful for a lifetime, to whom she could entrust everything! And now when she begins to speak again, her voice is different, she no longer wants to please, to conquer - she is like a drowning man who wants to escape. It's now or never! And he starts talking about God without any transition. You may be surprised yourself, because up to now you have hardly thought about God, always only about yourself! But now, talking to this strange man, she has come to the point where she has only one question left: how can one come to terms with oneself? One's interest turns involuntarily towards God. For then he sees that only God can help him! But how can one find God? Here on Mount Garazim, as the Samaritans say, or in Jerusalem, as the Jews believe? Is there a place where God can be found? Where a man can begin again his whole ruined life, where he can be purified, filled with God, so that this tormenting thirst of his will is gone, so that he no longer has to make other people miserable? And will God deal with a miserable worm like me? That she wants to be truly human, to be purified, to be fulfilled, to live differently? "Our fathers prayed on this mountain, and you say that in Jerusalem is the place to pray." It's like a cry for help: here is a man who is confused, bitter, disillusioned, desperate, here is such a man crying out to God: Where are you, God, I am looking for you, but I cannot find you! I am lost. Nothing has worked! Who will help me?
And perhaps at that moment Jesus came to her, perhaps he laid his hand on the desperate woman's head, so that she might be quiet, so that she might look up at him, so that she might understand what he was saying to her, the great and happy good news: God is not on Mount Garizim, and not in Jerusalem. God is here! Here, right next to you! And God wants all of you, wants you to be his. God is looking for worshipers who will accept Him. Who want to be filled with Him. Who long for Him! God wants you to be worthy, even if you don't think you are worthy! God is waiting for you, for you, thirsty soul! He is waiting for you to give yourself to him, just as you are, with all your problems, disappointments and difficulties.
I can imagine that when this woman looked at this man, she felt as if she had looked into the heart of God! And she must have felt a love she had never known before. It was as if everything had changed: the spring, the sun, the heat, the road - herself! Like happy music, a great realisation came over his soul: someone loved him too, with immeasurable tenderness, with uplifting power. Someone is embracing her soul, filling her life, claiming her with everything. And that someone is the God she has just found, here at the source! It's not a question, because she knows it, she says it with great joy: "I know that the Messiah will come one day and he will teach us the things of God so that we can all understand."- And this is how this man answers, and what he says sounds more beautiful than the song of the angels of Bethlehem: "It is I who am speaking to you now."- And I think then this woman kneels down, perhaps even weeps with joy. And then she jumped up and ran away. And the dust was swirling after her. Into the village, to the people, to the gossiping neighbour women, and to the men who used to sneak in at night to tell everyone the big news! And at the well, there was an orphaned pint. The woman left it there. As if it were a symbol of her former life! - For now she herself is like a bubbling spring! He goes from house to house in the village, telling everyone how his life has become God's life! And a great many people have also come to believe in Jesus Christ because of his word!
How wonderful that God sees something in us other than what we see in each other: man in woman, woman in man. He sees that certain living water, that spring, even if one's whole life is a paragon of barren dryness. That woman has become that too, a spring! You can become that too! Of course, there are those who have not gone as deep as this woman, but who still have a longing, an unquenchable thirst for someone, perhaps a boy or a girl, a man or a woman - who cannot and will not endure loneliness, solitude. To such people, too, Jesus says: "You too can be a source." There is someone who can satisfy you, who can fill you, who can give new meaning to your life.
Of course I also know that this does not solve all the problems, all the difficulties in your life. I don't know how that woman's life went on. But I think it's likely that she went on as such things usually do: stumbling, getting up again, always remembering that meeting at the well, always waiting for the Lord, always praying and learning again, always moving on in the path of faith... But most certainly happy and purified and a blessing to others, a source of help, refreshment and honour to men.
Amen!
Date: 17 March 1963.